Five Years

Today marks five years of being sober. Wow.

If you told me five years ago I would make it this far I never would’ve believed you.

Everyone has their own journey they can go on and different reasons for getting sober. I have an addiction to alcohol, plain and simple. When I use it I want more and want to use other substances. I make poor choices and I become a shell of the person I am; I turn into someone I don’t recognize, respect, or like.

Do I have days that are fairly easy now to get through without wanting alcohol? Yes. However, this past year I also got the closest I ever have to relapsing. I sat there in an empty house with a bottle of vodka up to my lips wanting to let my inner demon out. It was fighting me hard, but I fought harder. I made it through.

Some people think you should be ashamed if you are sober, but I am proud.

I am proud of what I have done with my life and who I am becoming. I am so happy I made the decision I did. I cut out the people I needed to, started living for me.

I want to live, I don’t want to die. I want to be the best version of myself and be able to do the things I want to do.

For me, that means alcohol can not have a place in my life.

For the most part, I can be around people drinking. I can smell alcohol. I can talk about it. I have learned it is actually better for me to be around it just because if I am then it seems like less of a temptation for me. That is just me though, that could be very different for someone else.

So today I have a humble brag. I have gone one thousand eight hundred twenty-six days without drinking. ONE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED TWENTY-SIX DAYS!!!!

At the risk of getting sappy, I am proud. I am so fricken proud. I did that. I made that decision for me. I fought my inner demon for me. I have made my life something I couldn’t have even dreamed, for me. It was all for me.

By helping myself I can show up as the best version of myself and nothing makes me happier than being able to help others.

If you are struggling with something, you are not alone. There are so many people who would love to support you. If you feel like you need support I would be happy to help!

Until next time,

-H

Published by Hannah

My name is Hannah. I love nature, animals, and going on adventures. Come along for the ride.

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