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I am usually acutely aware of my privilege in life, but sometimes I forget. Sometimes when I have one of the benefits that I am lucky to have in my life and it causes me some burden I forget that I am still lucky to have that in my life.
For example, when I am vacuuming sometimes I think it sucks (quite literally hehe) but then I remember that I am lucky to have a vacuum and a place that I live in to vacuum. Another example is that (by the time this goes live it will be past tense but it is current day for me) I have a cavity that I am getting filled today. My inner dialogue was first something like “ugh this is so annoying i don’t want to go get this cavity filled.” Then I remembered that there are lots of people who would do anything to be able to go to a dentist. I checked myself really quickly and reminded myself that this is a blessing and I am lucky.
I definitely don’t always come to the mindset that I am lucky and blessed and a situation could’ve been worse immediately, but I really do try.
A time when I recently reacted in a way where I wasn’t proud of in the moment was related to a shoe.
The owner, who will not be named (hi dad i didn’t actually give your name out hehe) claims that they don’t know how the shoe got there, but it did. There being the stairs. The stairway was dark, the shoe was black, I took one step and was on my back (actually butt but that didn’t rhyme but you get the point.)
I swear to you I went from standing to on my butt in half a second. I have never fallen so hard or so fast. I felt the slam happen mostly in my butt, partially in my thigh, and a little on my ankle (i am laughing writing about this because looking at the situation now is hilarious but in the moment it sucked). My mom came running to see if I died and I got mad and I definitely said something that sounds like “other trucker.” My mom asked me what happened and I don’t remember exactly what I said but I do remember throwing the shoe very hard back up the stairs and walking away. I was SO angry that I got super tense and started tearing up. It took me about 30-45 seconds to say “yo, dude this could’ve been way worse. you could’ve busted your back or your neck or actually broken your ankle. you barely fell in the grand scheme of things and you are fine, just a bruise.”
I am almost forty-eight hours in the future from that event and I definitely have a very sore behind, but all in all I am okay. I am lucky and grateful that it wasn’t worse. Not super happy that I got so angry in the moment, but I am happy that I switched my mood back quickly.
Things will happen to you unexpectedly. Things will happen that you don’t want to happen. Things you never dreamed of coming true, will. Things will never go exactly as planned.
Life is not made to be some big planned event (i know this is a hard fact to accept if you are type a like myself) and that is a great thing!
How boring life would be if everything could be planned.
All I know is it is important to always remind yourself that you are lucky and to see the good.
It is absolutely okay to feel like things didn’t go like they should’ve and want to change them and to feel angry and sad or scared about something, but then reflect on your life and I bet you would agree that it really isn’t so bad.
I hope you don’t have to literally fall on your butt to remember/learn this lesson like I did.
Until next time,